This article was originally published on The Gottman Relationship Blog on Feb 14,and has been republished. Past sexual rejection or embarrassment about our bodies is often to blame for intimacy issues. Not to mention our culture and life experiences which have created feelings of sexual shame, making romantic and intimate sex scary to even talk about. In an online study of 70, people in 24 countrie sresearchers found several similarities in couples who have a great sex life.
We talk a lot about talking a lot. Specifically, when it comes en route for sex. And with good reason. Announcement, they say, inspires greater sexual agreement. It allows you to air insecurities, anxieties, sexual fantasiesand expectations. It allows you to put forward past grievances and plan for more promising endeavors. And, maybe most importantly, it allows you to skip the theatrics after that charge towards more authentic, orgasmic experiences.
After he has a work deadline, she brings a meatloaf sandwich to the office, and when she has menstrual cramps, he snuggles beside her flannel-clad body. But they are friends, not lovers—they have too much intimacy after that very little sensuality or thrill. Janine rarely wears anything other than yoga pants, and Ed is more apt to kiss the baby than his wife. Janine and Ed need en route for work on their Passion Triangle. The passion triangle is the model I use to teach couples how en route for create lifelong romantic and sexual anger. You want your relationship to be built on a strong, reliable base. My friend Ian, who is an engineer, told me that the lozenge triangle is a highly stable arrange on which can be built colossal, beautiful buildings. It has three alike sides, supporting each other.