Why You Should Stop Trying to Find Your Soulmate—And What to Do Instead

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But while nearly two-thirds of American adults believe in them, according to a Monmouth University pollpsychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. It can connote perfectionism — and perfection in relationships is essentially unattainable. But being able to confront conflict as a couple is imperative to growing a healthy relationship, he adds. When people are searching for their soulmate, they can end up on a never-ending quest, says Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist based in California. But a relationship should always be an enhancement, rather than a necessity, she says. Instead of looking for the one, start searching for a relationship that is more realistic, honest and healthy. Here, experts explain how to do it. Looking for particular qualities instead of a vague idea — like a soulmate — allows you to be more specific about what you want.

Analysis Ah, the soul mate—the perpetuating adore myth that's still chugging along adjacent to all odds, literally. Assuming your character mate is set at birth, is roughly in the same age band, and the love is recognizable by first sight, mathematical estimates indicate so as to your chances of finding your character mate is only 1 in 10, 0. And yet, according to a Marist poll, nearly three out of four people believe that they are destined to find the one person out there for them. But abysmal odds aren't the only reason designed for abandoning the myth of the character mate. The truth is, seeking your soul mate is actually a actually good way to find yourself all the rage an unhappy marriage or alone. Accede to me explain. You may get tricked into thinking true love plays absent like a fairy tale. When you develop an image of what your ideal type or soul mate is, you create a fantasy. Pining designed for that unattainable ideal becomes an enthrallment of the experience of the concentrated emotions of being in love, considerably than a reality-based interest in the potential partner.

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